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CHUCK NORRIS: Fanfiction NC-17

The bear stood to her full 11’2, roared, and spread her arms, aiming to catch him in bonebreaking, flesh-rending hug while her jaws took the top of his skull off.

This was not Chuck Norris’ first shindig.

He parried one paw upwards as he ducked under it, jumping up and catching her hard on the ear with the knife-hard edge of his hand.

She immediately turned and flung him backhanded, where he hit a glancing blow to a tree. He rolled when he hit, and landed two paces back from her second attempt at the death-hug, ready and on guard.

The blow to the ear had made her wary, and she stood back for a second, trying to size him up. Her cub watched from the tree it had climbed seeking safety- and a good viewpoint to watch the mauling it was sure was coming to this human. She was an especially ornery and tough-looking Kodiak, and Chuck was sure that this wasn’t her first shindig, either.

She feinted with her right, but the hesitation gave Chuck more than enough of an opening; he lept up, blocking as he put one foot into her belly, hard enough to double her halfway over even through the fat, and spinning to catch her with the other heel, on the same side of the head where the ear blow had struck.

She fell sideways, catching herself on all fours- before she had a chance to balance herself, Chuck flew shoulder-first into her ribs, rebounded, caught the paw she had flung out to stop him, and threw her over his shoulder, slamming her solidly into the tree he had hit.

He grabbed the coiled rope from his belt and lept onto her back before she could get up.

He deftly caught her right paw in a loop of rope, pulled it behind her back and hitched it to the left, then he stood up and heaved with his legs, pulling them together against her massive strength.

She bellowed defiantly. Chuck slipped a loop between her jaws and hitched it behind her to the rope between her paws, pulling her arms up and her head back. He wrapped the rope around her arms up to her elbows, pulling them tight behind her. She roared her contempt for him as he wrapped the rope around her hind leg, spread it back and hitched it tightly to the other one behind her.

Chuck removed his pants and mounted her in one swift motion, his member immediately swelling to the hardness of his fists with practiced control.

She roared in protest as his first thrust punched through her, stretching her walls beyond even what childbirth had demanded of her. He slapped her- “What was that, bitch?”

She roared again; he slapped her, she kept roaring- he twisted her nipple hard and it turned into a bellow of pain. She roared as loud as she thought she could, but when Chuck Norris twisted her nipple effortlessly to the point just short of tearing it off, the sound that she let out echoed through the woods and startled all game for a mile.

Cowed for the moment, she was quiet but for a soft panting in time with Chuck’s powerful movements.

“Oh, now you’re likin’ it, huh? Show a bitch who’s boss for a moment and you realize it ain’t that bad! Well brace yourself, baby, ’cause we’re just getting started!”

He pulled out and repositioned himself at her anus. She made a questioning noise- he twisted again, this time on her clitoris. He drew the moan of pain out for as long as she could go before taking a breath.

“I’m leading, bitch! Do you hear me?! Not a fucking word!”

Then he plunged his arm elbow-deep into her womb and his cock balls-deep into her south end business district.

Both passages stretched to their limit, but Chuck’s powerful arm and cock, steeled by more kegels than this bear had eaten berries in her life, plowed in and out as though to punch a new hole with each thrust.

The strength of his battering on her pelvis moved her entire body against the ground like a wave. She moaned now in open pleasure, and Chuck reveled in her helplessness.

Chuck glanced back at the cub still watching from the tree. He was unable to read its expression, but he hoped it was shock. He hoped that this experience would shape its sexual world forever.

“Look at your big strong mama now, squirt! Tongue hangin’ out while she begs me for more! Rivers of drool coming from her hungry cunt!” He spat into her mouth. “And that’s not the last she’s getting in there!”

“Whether she’s a lover or whether she’s your mother know I’m/ Doin’ your mom Doin’ your mom/ Inner pussy breakin’ and all her body’s shaking yeah/ Doin’ your mom Doin’ your mom/ Aah, ah, ah, ahh/ Doin’ your mom Doin’ your mom/ Aah, ah, ah, ahh/ Doin’ your mooo-oo-oooo-oo-oooo-oo-o-o-o-om” [to tune of “Stayin’ Alive”]

On the drawn-out note, he again twisted he clitoris violently, wrenching a duet of pain from her, delivering a stinging slap and punching his fist back into her womb as the note ended. He pulled out and struck her across the face with his cock, with as much force as a mortal man could muster if he slapped her with all his might.

“One more thing, bitch”, and he ran two steps up the side of the tree her cub clung to, grabbed the branch beneath it, and swung himself over it, scooping up the cub under one arm and dropping smoothly back down to the ground.

She roared in fear, and frustration at neither having her own orgasm nor feeling his within her. Her womb had been spurned, and her child was being handled! She strained against the ropes holding her with all her might.

Chuck laughed at her as he spread the bleating cub’s legs. Thankfully it was a girl, but it wouldn’t have mattered either way; this act of sadistic dominance was for the mother’s benefit, and she protested beautifully. His organ grew even larger in anticipation- the cub was somewhere closer to leaving home than to babyhood, but still clearly twice as tight as her mother.

“I figured it was no fair to make her watch you get fucked the whole time”, he said with a grin as the mother bellowed. “Let’s hope none of her mates are too concerned about her purity!” and he plunged into her as far and fast as he could short of tearing her- but just short.

The two of them roared together pitifully in pain and concern, and struggled in his arms and the ropes alike. He came into her explosively, thrusting a few more powerful times to milk every last drop from himself. Cum spilled out around his cock, and gushed when he pulled out.

One final humiliation. He wrestled her over her mother’s mouth and spread the jaws; the mother caught the scent and lapped it from her daughter, desperate for any share of the seed that she could get. “Clean out your little bitch, cumslut!  Show me how much you want it, maybe I’ll put some in you next time!”

He pulled the cub off and slapped her twice across the face with his cock, knocking her sideways. Then he dealt another to the mother and untied the two knots that held her.

She got up slowly, as though she couldn’t believe he had let her go, then ran as fast as she could with her cub in tow, lashes from the rope landing on both of them as they went.

Chuck Norris gave a satisfied sigh. Then he turned to the camera;

“To all those ladies out there wanting to get with the Chuck: Sorry, you aren’t nearly exciting enough for me.

But to all the guys out there: You could be those ladies’ next best thing- with Old Spice!”

Do-do Do-do-do Do-doo-do

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Posted by on February 27, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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OotS Bonus: Sorry, Couldn’t Resist

Title: Paladin’s Warhorse

series: Order of the Stick

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Miko/Windstriker

Contains: horse sex

Miko grunted as Windstriker mounted her, relaxing her vaginal muscles with practiced ease. It was painful not just because of the thickness, which was not extraordinarily greater than that of a man, but the length. At around two feet long, it would be extremely painful if she were penetrated completely (and could be dangerous). Miko, on hands and knees, tried to lift herself further off the ground.

She cursed, and fondled a breast. “I’m alright”, she said, “go further”. More intelligent than an earthly horse, Windstriker went further slowly and carefully. Miko swore as the enormous cock went further and further inside her until it was almost a foot deep. Windstriker slowly started moving, careful not to damage his companion, and Miko screamed. It filled her as much as a human cock balls-deep, then went so far that she could feel the roof of her womb stretching. Miko cried and yelled so that one might think she was enraged from the sound of it, she screamed to the gods of her land and what gods she could remember of other lands.

Oaths flew from her mouth as from a man impaled, and she yelled inarticulately for her battered womb. Miko came again, and again, until she struggled to stay on all fours. Her face contorted into expressions of pain, fury, pleasure, and piety all at once and she shrieked like a mother tiger defending her cubs. As Windstriker came it was a miracle that his hastened thrusting did not bring her to unconsciousness until he spilled his seed deep inside her. Miko came yet again at the feeling, the feeling of acceptance, of being a receptacle of love- she felt more womanly than ever before. Her eyes fluttered, and it was all she could do to remove Windstriker’s cock from her before she collapsed on the ground with cum spilling out of her and bruises inside.

 
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Posted by on January 12, 2012 in Order of the Stick

 

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